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Carpe Diem!

Journal Entry: Wed Jun 22, 2016, 8:09 PM


Life! We come into this world fearless without a clue of how fragile and fleeting it is. But, as we age it becomes more apparent. The first time a beloved pet dies, the first time a family member or friend dies. It brings us in touch with the reality that all things are born into this world heading on their way out, it is just a question of when. But, I personally don't ponder the when. I have never feared death, I have already died once as most of you know from my last journal. Death comes for all of us. All we can just hope is that it comes quick, or in the best case scenario, we die in our sleep. Death is something else entirely when it is someone else, someone you know...someone you love. We as human beings are selfish by nature.  But the degrees to which one is selfish depends on the person. Take my grandmother for instance. My grandfather suffered from MS for over 20 years and my grandmother would have wanted him to suffer indefinitely rather than leave her. I on the other hand am not that selfish. I prayed for God to release him from the shell of his body that had become his painful prison. For me it was insanely cruel that he had to endure so many years of pain before the release of death.

I have met people profoundly frightened by the prospect of death. I was flying home from the UAE (United Arab Emirates), it was my last deployment before I retired.  I was on the last leg of my journey stuck in a puddle jumper. For those of you who do not know what a puddle jumper is, it is a tin can with wings, a very small plane and usually a very bumpy ride. Anyway, I had the aisle seat (if you could call it that) with a very terrified woman in the window seat next to me. I asked her what she was so scared about and she replied to me, "I am afraid we will crash and die". To which I replied, "well...that could be a possibility. You could also trip over your pet and die on your porch for that matter".  As soon as I said that, I had her undivided attention. I told her it was wasted energy to worry about dying in this can of a airplane.  That what was going to happen, would happen with or without her worry. I asked her if she believed in God or something greater than herself and she said yes. She told me she was Muslim and I told her I was a Christian. I continued "are you not taught as I am that this life is only the beginning?"  To which she replied, yes.  So, I said to her, then put your life in God's hands and don't waste your time worrying about things you cannot change.  I reiterated the fact that we are all on a course with death.  After I had finished, she had calmed herself, she looked different actually without all that stress on her face.  Without warning she wrapped her arms around me and about hugged me to death...lol, pun intended!  She thanked me repeatedly and said she felt foolish for all the years she had wasted being terrified of flying.  Then she said something to me I will never forget.  She looked me deep in the eyes and said "we are not so different are we", to which I replied no...no we are not.  The remainder of our flight we chatted about lots of things, me being a woman in the military, her about leaving Africa and becoming an American citizen and how proud she was of that. Her fear of staying in her country had been greater than flying, but she admitted she had dosed on dramamine to sleep the whole way.  When we departed the plane, she hugged me again and said she would never forget me...I will never forget her.

So, this leads me to the reason for the journal.  We found out yesterday that my mother (I am adopted from birth) has Parkinson's.  An addition to all the other ailments she has; heart disease, dementia and high blood pressure, to name a few of the more serious.  They give her 8 to 12 years before she becomes incapacitated if she lives that long.  My mother unfortunately was always a glass is half full kind of person, I learned from her what I didn't want to be.  She suffered from depression most of my life and I wish her life would have been different. She lived a life without much joy.  Now I worry that she will end up a prisoner in her own body and I find myself praying that God will take her in her sleep like my grandmother.  You see, no woman on my mother's side has lived as long as my mom with heart disease so prevalent.  Unlike my grandmother, I do not wish for my mother to suffer endlessly just so I have her here with me in this world.

So, to end this where I began...life is fleeting, live life to the fullest, as cliche' as that sounds.  Always remember to tell the people you love that you love them. Be fiercely protective of your family and friends, but also try to be kind to everyone.  If you don't believe in karma you should, what you do in this life will come back to you ten fold in this life or the next.  We as humans are all connected, black, white, brown, red...it doesn't matter.  We are a melting pot of what came out of Africa some 125,000 years ago.  If I could change the world, it would be to make every soul on this planet aware of how connected we really all are.  Maybe then we could just learn to love and respect one another.

Peace my Friends

Skin by Arya-Susy (modified by Scooby777)
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:icondiamoneyes:
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2016
:iconmanlytearsplz:WOW. I don't have much to say. I am kin of speechless and yet have so much I want to say, but don't know how to say it. so I'll just keep it that This is a powerful journal. And one that many should read and at least try to comprehend the views of it. :hug: So Sorry about your family. It's heartbreaking, truly.
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
The reason I wanted you to read it is because I wanted you to know where I stand on life and death and my belief's spiritually.  I thank you for your kindness concerning my mom.
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:icondiamoneyes:
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2016
And I thank you very much for this.
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Anytime, my friend!
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:iconpridescrossing:
PridesCrossing Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016
:iconmyheartplz: :iconmuchlove5plz::iconmuchlove6plz:
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you, Sandy!
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:iconpridescrossing:
PridesCrossing Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2016
:) You're very welcome! ♡ ♡
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:iconafungshui:
afungshui Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Student General Artist
I recently had a nightmare in which I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and had to accept my own death. Luckily it was just a dream, but it really made me start thinking about death and how I might have to face a situation like this at any moment. As you beautifully wrote, the only comfort that ultimately works is accepting the fact that death is inevitable, so there isn't any use in worrying how it happens. 

My grandfather died of alzheimer's or some similar form of dementia a few years ago and watching him deteriorate for so long was extremely hard, but at least he was loved and cared for until the very end. I hope your mother will be as comfortable as possible in the coming years--she is fortunate to have a daughter who loves her so much, even if her life was difficult. Sending good vibes your way Heart  
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so kindly, Alexandra. It is so hard to watch your loved ones deteriorate, my empathy for the loss of your grandfather.
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:iconokavanga:
Okavanga Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016
My goodness, Sheri, that is some writing and some down to earth sensible comment. I've said it before and repeat my view that you are very good at writing because you are sincere and your narratives come from the heart. Add in your personal experiences and you have a beautiful style. I'm very sorry that your Mother has another problem added to the already painful list, and I'm sorry that I can't do more to help. You've put your family before yourself, that I know from previous writings and Journals. But, remember that you too need your own time, if only to keep you fresh for helping others. You are one of a kind, and one of this most remarkable people I am lucky enough to know.

David :heart:
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much, my dear friend.  You are right, I need time for me, but it is hard to come by.  I am humbled by your kind comments, I think you are one of a kind as well and grateful to know you. Hug Heart 
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:iconokavanga:
Okavanga Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016
Heart 3D 
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:icongigi50:
gigi50 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
SO very true Sheri Well written :clap:
Sorry to hear about your Mother, my Dad in same boat
Vascular dementia (high blood pressure for years) and now my Mom just told me last week
Docotor said parkinson's added to the plate, they will run more test to be certain :(
He was such a good happy man, always singing and joking, a great Dad so its
very hard to see, he just sits there most of the time and he 
knows enough of whats going on still because he does not want to go out
or be seen in public this way, does not want to be remember in such a state :(
So yeah always trying to enjoy life to the fullest for sure, we don't know whats up ahead!!!
and being kind to one another and to ourselves a big bonus to make life so much more pleasant indeed! :tighthug:
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you, my dear Gigi!  So very sorry to hear your dad is in the same boat.  It is just hard to see our loved ones in such a state.  Sending big hugs your way! Hug 
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:icongigi50:
gigi50 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Your Welcome Yes
its the hardest part of life
this aging business :nod: :(
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes, it sucks getting older..
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:iconstephgabler:
StephGabler Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Professional Photographer
This is so beautifully written. I worry about you, you carry such a heavy load for your parents now and I see that load getting heavier in the future. I'm here, and if there are ways I can help you, I will. Love you!
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you, Honey! I am trying not to think too much about what is to come...it is just so overwhelming.  Love you, too!
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:iconstalliondesigns:
StallionDesigns Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2016   Photographer
Thank you Sheri, your Journal has helped me with my own worries ( Baby Christian ) I have bad health, take 25 different meds a day. Thank you for easing my worries, you are a beautiful person my friend. I hope your prayers are answered Sheri. I watched my Mother go into a Hospital laughing, and then have an operation, to only end up in a coma, proceeded by each of her organs ceasing to work, then kept alive by machines and drugs, only to finally be brain dead. So then I had to pull the plug on the most important friend I have had or ever will have. It's the the truth what you wrote, and thank you for writing it. Hug

God Bless you and your Family
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
I am so sorry you had to watch your mother go that way. And I am so sorry you are in poor health, dear friend.  All I can tell you is the same as above, put it in God's hands, make sure your affairs are always in order (military taught me that) and live everyday to fullest.  Am I understanding "you" are a new born Christian? 
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:iconstalliondesigns:
StallionDesigns Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2016   Photographer
I've been going to Church for 9 years now and reading the Bible for the first time, I was Baptized a Roman Catholic, but my Father never let my mother go to Church after she married him or let me have religion in my life even though I've always believed in God. But yes, I am a new born Christian, and I have given my life over to Jesus. :) I don't follow the Catholic Faith, I've converted to my Wife's Faith. She led me too the lord, her love and devotion to God is what brought us together. :)
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Awww, that is so sweet! Sorry about your dad...that is sad.
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:iconstalliondesigns:
StallionDesigns Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016   Photographer
I do believe my Dad was reading the Bible when he was dieing from ALS while living in a rest home, After he died while packing up his belongings, I found a Bible with several book marks in it. I hope he was Saved.

Yes, Janie's passion towards the Lord definitely drew me closer and closer to her until I fell in love with her, we have been together 9 yrs. :)
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
That is really wonderful, Gino!  I too hope your dad found God before he died.
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:iconstalliondesigns:
StallionDesigns Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2016   Photographer
Thank you Sheri. :)
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:iconscooby777:
Scooby777 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Heart 
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June 22, 2016
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